Anger is an emotion that we all feel almost every day. Anger is a normal, healthy human emotion. What important is how you deal with it. If it gets out of control and becomes destructive it can lead to problems in your personal and professional life and affects the overall quality of your life. It can make you feel at the mercy of a emotion which is unpredictable and powerful. If your anger has brought you to this stage then maybe you need to do something about it. Anger that cannot be controlled is hazardous for your health and for your relationships. Therefore it is important to deal with it in a positive manner and here are 10 tips that can help you.
1. Think Before You Speak
When you are in a heated situation you may say things that you might regret later. In these situations take a moment and straighten your thoughts before you say something. This way the others who are also involved in the situation will be allowed to do the same. When a person is angry they jump to conclusions and act on them and sometimes these conclusions can be absolutely incorrect. So you need to first calm yourself down and think through do not say the first thing that comes to your mind instead think your response slowly and carefully and also listen carefully what the other person is saying.
2. Once You Are Calm Express Your Anger
The moment you are calm enough and you can think clearly you can express your anger and frustration in a way which is assertive but do it in a way which is non confrontational. You can lay out your concerns and your needs directly and in a clear manner but make sure you do it without hurting others or by controlling them.
3. Get Some Exercise
Stress can make you angry and physical activity helps in reducing stress. When you are feeling angry try to do some sort of physical activity such as going for a brisk walk or a run or you can do any kind of physical activity that you find enjoyable.
4. Take Timeout
Timeouts are not only meant for disciplining your kids. You can also give yourself timeouts during a stressful day. This way you get a few moments of peace and quiet which might help you in dealing with what lies ahead in a better way and without making you irritated or angry.
5. Identify Possible Solutions
Things that make you angry, work on them. Do not focus on what made you angry but try to resolve the issue. If the mess in your child’s room drives you crazy just close the door or if your partner comes late for dinner every night then move the time for dinner ahead or make an agreement to eat alone a few times. Just keep in mind that anger will not solve your problems it will only make matters worse. There are times when our anger and frustration is caused by problems in our lives that are real and inescapable. But there is always a solution to a problem according to cultural belief and it is very frustrating to us if that is not the case. In such situation the best way is not to look for solutions but focus on how to handle and face the problem.
Jot down a plan and keep checking your progress. Make a resolution to give it your best shot but don’t punish yourself if you don’t get an answer right away. If you approach the problem with your bets efforts and attempt to face it head on than there is a chance that you won’t loose patience even if a solution does not come right away.
6. Stick With ‘I’ Statements
Sticking with “I” statements while describing a problem, will help you to avoid placing blame or criticizing the other. Remember that blame game only increases the tension. How can you use “I” statements, here is an example, you can say “I am upset because you did not offer to help with the dishes” instead of saying “You never help with anything”.
7. Don’t Hold Grudges
Learn to forgive as it is a very powerful tool. Don’t let the negative feelings and your anger to take over the positive feelings as this will only make you bitter and give you a feeling of injustice. If you forgive people who have angered you then you may be able to learn something from the situation. Give people benefit of doubt and keep your expectations low. You cannot make people behave the way you want all the time.
8. Use Humor To Release Tension
Humor can help to lighten up the mood and diffuse the tension. You can use it to face what is making you angry and to rid of any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should be. But remember that humor and sarcasm are two different things. Keep sarcasm out as it can hurt feelings and make things worse. You might think that sarcasm covered with humor won’t harm but your cutting remarks can do damage to your relationship. Although there is a misconception that mockery is intellectual humor but the word sarcasm comes from the Greek word sarkazein which means to tear flesh like dog. Well now you know there is no humor in the word sarcasm.
9. Practice Relaxation Techniques
Relaxation techniques can help you deal with your flared up temper. You can practice breathing exercises, imagine a scene which relaxes you or keep repeating a word or phrase that calms you, for example, “stay calm”. You can also try some music, write in a diary or do yoga, choose whatever suits you the best and keeps you relaxed.
10. Know When To Seek Help
Controlling anger or learning how to control it can be challenging at times. If your anger seems to be out of control or it makes you do things you regret later and hurts the people around you. Then you may want to consider seeking help for yourself.
