If you are having suicidal thoughts don’t think that you are alone, many of us have suicidal thoughts at some point of our lives. To have the feeling of being suicidal is not a defect of your character and it certainly does not mean that you are weak or crazy or have some kind of flaw. It only means that you are dealing with more pain then you can bear right now. This pain may seem to be permanent and overwhelming at this moment. But with the passage of time and support you can overcome your pain and your problems and eventually the suicidal feelings will pass.
Step No. 1: Don’t Keep These Suicidal Feelings To Yourself
Many of us have experienced that the first step to cope with suicidal thoughts is to share them with someone whom we trust. It can be anyone a friend, a colleague, a therapist, your family doctor or an experienced counselor on a helpline. Just find someone you can trust and share with them how bad the situation is for you. Fear, embarrassment or shame should not prevent you from seeking help. Just sharing with someone how things became so bad for you can help to release a lot of pressure that has been building up inside you and maybe help you in finding a way to cope with it.
Step No. 2: Promise Yourself Not To Do Anything Right Now
Although you are in immense pain at the moment, put some distance between your thoughts and your actions. Promise yourself that you will wait for a day or a week before you do anything drastic. Thoughts and actions are two separate things. Your suicidal thoughts do not have to become real. You are not on a deadline and nobody is pushing you to take immediate actions on these thoughts. Wait and place a distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal actions.
Step No. 3: Avoid Drugs And Alcohol
Alcohol and drugs can make your suicidal thoughts even stronger. Therefore it is very important not to take any drugs which are not prescribed by your doctor and stay away from alcohol when you are feeling hopeless and have suicidal thoughts.
Step No. 4: Make Your Home Safe
Make your house safe by removing all the things that you use to hurt yourself like firearms, razors, knives or pills. If you cannot do that then go somewhere where you feel safe. If you are planning to overdose yourself then give your medicines to someone reliable who can give you only your daily dosage every day.
Step No. 5: Take Hope- People Do Get Through This
People who feel just as bad as you do right now, do manage to survive these feelings. Take hope from this. There is a very good chance for you to also survive through these feelings, no matter how much hopelessness, self loathing and isolation you are experiencing right now. You just need to give yourself the time needed and do not try to go through it alone.
Why Am I Feeling This Way?
Many types of emotional pain can lead you to suicidal thoughts. The reasons for the pain are different for each one of us, and how we deal with our pain differs from every individual. Do not listen to someone who tells you that this is not the reason why you should be suicidal about. Everybody is different and what might be bearable for one person may not be bearable for you. However there are some common factors that can lead us to experience thoughts of suicide.
Feeling Suicidal Is Often Associated With Problems That Can Be Treated
Some kind of loss, anxiety, depression, medical conditions, alcohol and drugs, financial issues, legal problems, trouble in school and other difficulties of life can all cause deep emotional distress. They can also interfere with our ability to solve these problems. Even if you are unable to see them now, there is almost always a solution for these problems. Mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder can all be treated with changing your lifestyle, medication and therapy.
Most of the people who seek help and make constructive changes in their lives are able to improve their situation and recover. Even if you got the treatment for a disorder before or you have made several attempts to solve your problems, you must keep in mind that it is often important to try out different types of solutions before you find the right one or a combination of solutions. Nothing is impossible and almost every problem has a solution.
Why Suicide Seems To Be The Only Option
If suicide seems to be the only option for you, it does not mean that other solutions are not there, it is just that you are not being able to see them. The intense emotional pain that you are feeling right now can make your thinking distorted and therefore it is harder to see the possible solutions to your problems or connect with those people who can give you support. Friends, loved ones, therapists or counselors can all help you to see the solutions that you are not being able to see on your own, just give them the chance to help you.
A Suicidal Crisis Is Almost Always Temporary
You might be feeling as if this pain and unhappiness that you have will never end but it is important that you realize that crisis do not last forever and are usually just temporary. Often the solutions are found, feelings can change, unexpected positive things can happen. Keep in mind that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. You need to give yourself the time necessary for things to change and for the pain to subside.
Reaching Out For Help
Although it does not feel like it at the moment, but there are many people who want to help you in this difficult time. They will not argue with you about the way you are feeling or tell you to just come out of it and they won’t judge. They will just be there for you and will listen to you. Please reach out to someone and do it now. If you promised yourself a day or a week in step 2 then use this time to tell someone about what is going on with you. You can call someone you trust like a friend, family member, doctor, therapist anyone with whom you want to talk, who will most likely listen to you with compassion and acceptance.
How To Talk To Someone About Your Suicidal Thoughts
Even after you find someone whom you trust enough to share your feelings, admitting about your suicidal thoughts to someone else can be a difficult thing to do. Here are some tips as how to do it.
- Tell this person exactly what you are thinking and have been telling yourself. If you have made a suicidal plan, explain it to him or her.
- Do not use vague phrases like “I cannot take it anymore” or “I am done”, they do not explain the intensity of your situation and how serious it is. Tell this person that you are thinking about suicide.
- If explaining it or talking about it in person is too difficult for you then try to write your situation down on a paper and hand this to the person you trust. Or send an email or text and sit with him or her when he or she is reading it.
What If You Don’t Feel Understood?
Just in case the person that you have chosen does not seem to understand you, find and tell someone else or just call a suicide crisis helpline. Remember there are many people out there who can and will understand you. Do not let one bad experience stop you from finding a person who can help you.
Ways To Cope With Suicidal Thoughts
Keep this in your mind that although it does seem to be at the moment that these thoughts and feelings will never end, it is not a permanent condition. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER AGAIN. But in the meantime you can use these tips to help yourself in coping with the situation.
If You Have Suicidal Thoughts And Feelings
THINGS TO DO
- Talk to someone daily and preferably in person. Although you may feel like withdrawing from everyone ask your friends and family whom you trust to spend time with you. If you want you can also call a crisis helpline and talk about your feelings.
- Make a safety plan. Make a set of steps to follow in case of a suicidal crisis. This should include the contact numbers of your therapist or doctor and your family and friends who can help you in case of an emergency.
- Make a written schedule for yourself daily and stick with it. Keep up with your daily routine even when your feelings seem to be out of control.
- Go out in the sun or nature for half an hour daily.
- Do vigorous exercise, which is safe for you. For maximum benefit keep your target of 30 minutes but you can start small if you want. Three 10 minutes burst of activity can have a positive affect on your mood.
- Make time for things that make you happy. Even though you do not find pleasure in most of the things right now. Force yourself to do those things that used to make you happy.
- Remember your goals in life. You might have made plans to go visit a place, find a new hobby, get a pet, start a family, go back to school or move to another place. Write down your goals.
THINGS TO AVOID
- Being alone. Isolation and solitude can make the suicidal thoughts worse. Visit a friend or family or just dial the crisis helpline.
- Alcohol and drugs. Both these things may increase depression , hinder your ability to solve problems and make you act impulsively.
- Doing things which make you feel worse. Things like listening to sad music, seeing old letters or photographs that make you sad or visiting the grave of a loved one can all increase the negative feelings in you.
- Thinking about negative thoughts and suicide. You must try not to get preoccupied by suicidal thoughts as this can make them stronger. Do not think and keep on rethinking about negative thoughts. Try to distract yourself. Taking a break from suicidal thoughts can help even if it is just for a short time.
Recovering From Suicidal Thoughts
Even after you have overcome your suicidal thoughts and feelings, do get help for yourself. To go through that sort of emotional pain is a traumatizing experience. Find a support group or therapist, this can be helpful in decreasing the chances of your becoming suicidal again in the future. You can get help and references from your doctor.
5 Steps To Recovery:
- Identify the triggers or situations that can lead to the feelings of despair and generate suicidal thoughts. For example anniversary of a loss, stress from relationships or alcohol. Find out ways to avoid these situations, people r places.
- Take care of yourself. Sleep well, eat well and healthy and do not skip your meals. Exercise daily as it helps in releasing the endorphins and relieve stress.
- Build your support network. Try to be around people who have positive influence on you and who make you feel good about yourself.
- Develop new interests and activities. You can indulge in new hobbies or do work that gives you a sense of purpose. When you do things that are fulfilling you will feel better about yourself and the feelings of despair will stay at bay.
- Learn to handle stress in a healthy manner. You can do this by doing exercise, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises etc. Find a way that suits you.
